Thursday, August 25, 2005

for the PaleMan. user on PJ.

Page 1

Panel 1- Apartment block windows, it’s middle of the night, dim lights. Lots of shadows, half light. Looks like any other cityscape.

Panel 2- Next shot of inside an apartment,living room with books strewn here and there, exercise equipment in one corner, tv in another, pictures on wall. Looks homey. Somewhere in the shot, there could be Paleman’s outfit and weaponry adorning one wall, has to look out of place amongst the homey look.

Panel 3- Switch to the bedroom, big bed in centre of room, a female figure curled up fast asleep in the bed, long hair flowing, she looks peaceful, happy. Next to her Paleman is fitfully sleeping, his face tense frowning, beads of sweat, like he’s having a bad dream.

Panel 4- Close of Paleman’s face, startled, frightened, eyes wide open, sweat pouring off him. (he’s sat up in bed now, startled).

Panel 5- Paleman is now sitting up on side of the bed, head in hand, shoulders hunched as if under a terrible burden.

Page 2

Panel 1- Paleman standing by the window, a breeze blowing, curtains are moving, he’s staring outside, pensive, tense. Behind him, his girlfriend sleeps peacefully.

Panel 2- Flash back sequence. Paleman (he looks tired and bored) is standing over a body, pretty gruesome kill. Next to him, a short, fat man (think similar to the clown in Spawn? But w.o the makeup) in a badly fitting suit who has a clipboard and marking off something off a list. He looks satisfied.

Panel 3- Returns to Paleman in apartment, he’s now pacing the living room, a drink in his hand, he looks agitated.

Panel 4-Flashback sequence. Paleman sitting on a bench watching his girlfriend taking pot shots at a target in a field somewhere, she’s shooting energy beams. He looks thoughtful as if pondering what’s in the future. (like the thinker’s pose)

Panel 5- another flashback sequence where Paleman and the fat guy are in an office (think dusty, messy), fat guy is handing Paleman an envelope filled with cash (have some notes sticking out or Paleman perhaps checking the contents?)

Page 3

Panel 1- Same office. Fat guy is now pointing to a picture of girlfriend and the energy bolts scene, he’s talking with a smirk on his face. Paleman looks furious and shaking his head as if to say no to whatever fat guy is saying.

Panel 2- Flashback again, later in day: Back at the apartment, Paleman is having a nice romantic dinner with girlfriend, shes looking lovingly at him, happy and secure. He’s trying his best but he’s clearly distracted.

Panel 3- Present day. Paleman is dressed in his gear, slipping on tracksuit jacket and pants? He looks really wound up still.

Panel 4- Paleman, all hunched up, hands in pockets, walking along the street, as if trying to outwalk his problems. (would it be possible to have an inset panel to show somehow the fat guy pointing to that picture? As if to show it’s preying on his mind?)

Panel 5- Darkened park, Paleman sitting on the park bench staring out, thinking. Behind him in a corner, you see some youths (scruffy, potential mugger look) eyeing him up..

Panel 6- the youths (5?) have approached Paleman and one of them (the ringleader) has hand out and angrily pointing a knife at him, Paleman just looks annoyed.

Page 4

Panel 1- Paleman is now in the midst of breaking ringleader’s arm, think a speedy leap off park bench, taking arm with him, bending it back. An sound effect be good here. Knife is falling to the ground.

Panel 2- Ringleader now on ground in agony. Two more youths have leapt forward, Paleman is doing a spinning kick to one head.

Panel 3- Youth #2 has teeth kicked out, lying crumpled on ground, Youth #3 is in a headlock and Youth #4 behind Paleman rushing forward and Paleman has a fist raising upwards to meet him (like from a bent elbow, fist upwards).

Panel 4- Paleman is throwing one of their knives at Youth#5 (a through the air shot).

Panel 5- Close up of Youth #5’s face, in total shock and disbelief. Knife in his throat.

Panel 6- Paleman is panting, hands clenched, around him on the ground, carnage, the youths are majorly beaten up. He looks fed up and angry.


Page 5

Panel 1- Paleman is getting away from the park, his clothes splattered in blood. Cellphone ringing (sfx or the rings) in his pocket?

Panel 2- Split panel. Fat Guy is in one panel (he looks like he’s driving). Paleman looks anger, teeth gritting.

Panel 3- Paleman back at the appmnt now, one hand shaking girlfriend awake, other hand pointing to suitcase on ground, as if to get her to pack. Clothes etc are strewn about the room now.

Panel 4- Paleman and girlfriend leaving the building through the back entrance into alleyway with some bags/suitcase/boxes?

Panel 5- paleman and girlfriend getting into an SUV or truck (parked in alleyway), they looked like they are in a hurry. She’s looking bewildered.

Panel 6- you see the SUV driving off in street below but above them, an explosion in one of the apmnt buildings, flames shooting out from windows.

Latest entry for PJ's writing contest IV

TITLE: Lil Kitty comes out to play

Page 1

Panel 1- In a narrow alleyway, an alley cat is walking carefully across a wall ledge, on the wall below is graffiti sprayed all over it. It’s night time, with a dim street light the only real illumination. Below the cat, you can just make out trash cans, trash strewn everywhere.

CAPTION- IT WAS A DARK NIGHT.. NOT STORMY, THAT WOULD JUST BE A CLICHÉ NOW WOULDN’T IT?

Panel 2- A young girl is curled up in a door way gripping a large (thinking camping size), the cat is walking in front of her, trash cans on our right.. She’s about mid teens, long dark hair, dressed in jeans, sweatshirt. She’s actually well dressed but grubby now.. Her face is tear streaked..

CAPTION- I WAS DOING JUST FINE… TILLL ‘IT’ HAPPENED…


Panel 3- Flashback sequence daytime.. A nice suburban house, the same girl is coming down the steps, front door partially open, facing us, backpack on her back, tears streaming down her face. Her eyes are fearful but she has a stubborn angry look on her face (like just coming from an argument)..

ANGRY MAN’S VOICE (OP)- AND DON’T YOU COME BACK, YOU FREAK SHOW!!

WOMANS VOICE (OP)- NO, FELICIA, COME BACK! NO!


Panel 4- Small panel. Back to the alley, the girl is now stroking the alleycat, her eyes look just like a cat’s, green, almond shaped. Looks eerie in the dim light.

CAPTION- I DIDN’T MEAN FOR IT TO HAPPEN…

Panel 5- another flash back sequence. The girl is in a bedroom, sitting crosslegged on the floor, muttering over a large open book on her lap and a chalk circle drawn on the floor. The room is very pleasant, with fluttering opaque curtains billowing in wind. It’s definitely a young teen girl’s room in colour scheme wise.. but the posters on the wall arent of pop or movie stars. It’s cats everywhere..

FELICIA- FELINA OMINA MARGIOUS..

Panel 6- Small panel. The circle on the floor is glowing a blood red, a human shape is forming within the circle..

FELICIA- APPARIO..

Page 2

Panel 1- The circle now houses a shape of a tall man, with strange feline eyes and long nails, broad shouldered and handsome with a long ponytail. Very distinguished. Faint resemblence to Felicia.

MAN- FELICIA… YOU KNOW YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO CONTACT ME..

FELICIA- I NEED YOUR HELP… GET ME OUTTA HERE PLEASE…

Panel 2- The man is sad, looks at her with eyes full of regret and worry.

MAN- I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO.. FELICIA. YOU KNOW WHY..

FELICIA (OP)- BUT I CAN’T STAND IT ANYMORE..


Panel 3- Flashback sequence. A younger Felicia is in her room, night time, sleeping in her bed. A shadowy figure of a man is looming over her bed, you can just see him unbuckling his belt.

FELICIA- HE HURTS ME…


Panel 4- Back to present. Felicia is talking to the man who’s looking angry, fists clenched. She’s crying.

MAN- PACK WHAT YOU NEED, FELICIA. DON’T FORGET THE BOOK…

MAN- I WILL HANDLE THIS.

Panel 5- Small Panel. Felicia is frantically packing the backpack, you can see the big book sticking out inside already, the room is in a mess. In the background, you can see her bedroom starting to open. No sign of the circle or the man now.

Panel 6- Felicia’s turned around to leave, her backpack on her shoulders already. Strangely her room is now bare, as if no one had ever lived there. The door is open in front of her. A man and a woman are in the doorway. The man looks like a typical upper class type, well dressed but with cold unfriendly eyes. The woman looks similar to Felicia (her mum) who’s looking nervous and scared. The man is gripping Felicia’s mum’s arm.

MAN- AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING, YOUNG LADY!?

FELICIA- AWAY FROM YOU!

Page 3

Panel 1- Man is trying to block Felicia’s path. Her mother is knelt down crying, looking weak and powerless. Subtle changes to felicia, her nails are lengthening, eyes elongating and her mouth is turned up into a growl..

MAN- OH NO YOU DON’T… WHAT THE…


Panel 2- Felicia (she looks more like a Cat) in fighting position, her arm scratching the man’s face, he’s staggered back in shock. Her mother has covered her face in her hands, still kneeling on the ground.

FELICIA- DON’T TOUCH ME AGAIN, YA DIRTY BASTARD!


Panel 3- Felicia is fleeing down the stairs, the man attempting to give chase, his face bleeding from claw marks across his face. Behind them, the mother is walking as if in a daze. And from the room, a strange red human shaped shadow remains in the doorway of the bedroom.

VOICE (OP)- WELL, THAT WAS ONE WAY TO HANDLE IT…

Panel 4- Back to the alleyway now. Felicia is stroking the alleycat who has a happy look on its face. She is looking calmer and expectantly at the ground. You can just make out a circle of red appearing faintly on the ground.

FELICIA- I’VE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR YOU…

Panel 5- The Catlike man in the circle holds his hand out towards Felicia. She is about to step into the circle, a smile on her face.

FELICIA- …DADDY…

Friday, August 19, 2005

Fun exercise

[url]http://www.penciljack.com/forum/showthread.php?p=630388#post630388[/url]

Wednesday, August 03, 2005


Loston pix, the script is based on this. Posted by Picasa